Donna was drowning. Not the dramatic, call-for-help kind of drowning—the slow, quiet kind where you just get more and more tired and nobody really notices until you’re completely underwater. She had a team of eight people, a full workload of her own, and she was somehow doing the work of about four of t…

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Early in my career, I worked for a retail organization that had figured out how to motivate its team. At least, that’s what they thought.

Every time a key selling season rolled around — Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, back-to-school — they’d announce a contest. Sell this product, hit this number, win …

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When you first stepped into your manager role, you were probably handed a new title, maybe a slightly bigger paycheck, and a team of people suddenly looking to you for answers. What you probably weren’t handed? Any real guidance on how to actually lead.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Research shows th…

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Then my manager pulled me aside after a division meeting.

I’d spent most of that meeting walking i…

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I hear that fairly often, so I didn’t panic. “Tell me more,” I said. “Because in my experience, that’s almost never the whole sto…

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It isn’t.

Development doesn’t fail because managers lack hours. It fails because develop…

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Most days the drive took him twenty minutes. Nothing special about it. But one afternoon, he decided he wanted to get home faster. So he drove one hundred miles an hour, blew through every red light and stop sign, and broke pretty much every traffic law in existence. He made it home in just over…

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For years, I thought I was being a good manager when I asked my team “Got it?” or “Any questions?” after giving an assignment. I said it with warmth. I meant it sincerely. I even paused and gave people a moment to respond. I was checking in. I was being approachable. I was doing the right thing.

And then I kept…

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More than ten years ago, I was managing a small team -- just three people. We were tight-knit, we worked hard, and by most measures things were going well. One morning I walked into my office and found something sitting on my desk: a pack of Extra gum and a handwritten note. The note was from one of my employees. I…

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So when one …

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I did everything right. I showed up early, stayed late, took on extra projects, raised my hand for every stretch assignment, and delivered results. I was the kind of employee that managers love — reliable, capable, and hungry. So when a management position opened up, I went …

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But here’s the question most managers never stop to ask: Why this person?

Not “who’s available” or “who did something like this before.” But genuinely — why this person for this task?

If …

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Either way, you’re not alone. And here’s the good news: developing your team doesn’t have to be complicated. But it …

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You’re not alone. 82% of new managers receive zero formal leadership training. The vast majority of people in your position right now are figuring it out as they go.

Here’s the good news: you don’t need a certification or a three-day workshop to start coaching your team effectively. You need a simple framework you can remember and use starting today.

It’s called Ask-Listen-Reflect-Support, and it’s about to become your best friend.

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You’re making way too many decisions yourself. You might be controlling or untrusting, or maybe you genuinel…

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But where? Your office is in use. The conference rooms are all booked. Should you wait until your next one-on-one? That’s not for another we…

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Here’s a frustrating truth about your new management role: The skills that matter most are the ones you were never taught.

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The Behavior Spotlight is a weekly article that is designed to provide actionable information on a specific behavior.

I am quite clear that managers have an obligation to coach their team, when possible. However, I sometimes get the question “should I coach people outside my team?”

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The Behavior Spotlight is a weekly article that is designed to provide actionable information on a specific behavior.

You’re in a team meeting. Someone asks a question about the new system rollout, and you realize you have no idea what the answer is. Your heart races. Your mind scrambles for something intelligent to say. You feel the weight of everyone’…

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The Behavior Spotlight is a weekly article that is designed to provide actionable information on a specific behavior.

Play a game with me: pretend I am an alien who has come to earth from another planet. We don’t wear clothes, so the idea of getting ready for work in the morning is something I know nothing about. I want you to teach me how to get ready - the thoughts, decisions, and even the physical actions down to a very detailed level.

Now, in your head, think about what you would say and show me.

If you are like most people, you paused and forgot some things - or didn’t explain something sufficiently enough to help an alien do it. For example, you may have said “button your shirt”, but if an alien doesn’t know what a shirt or button is, you would actually have to explain how to do that.

I use this little game to demonstrate the issue with managers onboarding new employees and setting the proper expectations. You do a lot during the day (as does your team) and most of it is automatic. You’ve all done it and have developed routines and understandings. When a new employee starts, they have none of that knowledge. For them, it is almost like entering a foreign country. Things you think are natural and need no explanation may be something totally new and confusing to a new employee.

Setting up the expectations for new employees is often the difference between a great employee who gets up to speed quickly and a struggling employee who leaves or is terminated.

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The Hidden Cost of “Just Jump In”

Here’s what most of us don’t realize when we’re in the thick of our own work and excited to have a new team member: those first few weeks represent the single most important window for setting expectations that will define someone’s success for years to come. Miss that window, and you’ll spend the next six to twelve months course-correcting, clarifying, and fixing misunderstandings that never should have happened in the first place.

Think about it this way. When someone joins your team, they’re desperately trying to figure out the unwritten rules. How thoroughly should they research before asking a question? When should they speak up in meetings? What does “good enough” look like versus “excellent” work? How formally should they communicate with different stakeholders? Every single day, they’re making dozens of these judgment calls based on guesswork, observation, and whatever habits they brought from their last job.

Without clear guidance, some of those guesses will be wrong. And here’s the tricky part—by the time you notice the problem and try to correct it, that behavior is already becoming a habit. It’s much harder to reshape someone’s approach after they’ve been doing it their way for six months than it is to set clear expectations from the beginning.

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Why Structure Accelerates Contribution

I’ve watched this play out dozens of times now. The managers who take a structured approach to those first 90 days consistently see their new hires contributing meaningfully faster than those who use the “sink or swim” method. And it’s not because their people are more talented—it’s because they’re not wasting mental energy trying to decode the culture.

When you provide a clear framework for what success looks like in each phase of their onboarding, you’re essentially giving them permission to focus on learning and contributing rather than worrying about whether they’re meeting invisible expectations. That first 30 days when they’re learning systems and processes? They know that asking questions and building foundational knowledge is exactly what they should be doing. Days 31-60 when they’re starting to take on real work? They understand that it’s okay to need guidance and that you expect them to be learning, not already expert.

By the time they hit that third month, they’ve built confidence through successfully navigating each previous phase. They know how your team works, what your standards are, and how to get things done. More importantly, they’ve developed the right habits from the start—not habits they’ll need to unlearn later.

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The Trust Factor You’re Building (or Breaking)

How you onboard someone sends a powerful message about how much you value them and their success. When you invest real time in setting clear expectations and creating a roadmap for their first few months, you’re communicating that their success matters to you. You’re showing them that you’re invested in their growth, not just looking for another set of hands to get work done.

On the flip side, when you bring someone on board without a clear plan, you’re inadvertently communicating that they should figure it out themselves. And for someone who’s already dealing with all the anxiety and uncertainty that comes with a new job, that feels less like empowerment and more like abandonment.

The new hires who get structured onboarding with clear expectations for each phase? They consistently report higher engagement and trust in their manager. They feel supported. They know what success looks like. And that foundation of trust becomes the bedrock of your entire working relationship.

The Productivity Paradox

I know what some of you are thinking—”I don’t have time to create elaborate onboarding plans. I’m already overwhelmed, and I need this person to start contributing as soon as possible.”

The time you invest in those first 90 days isn’t time lost—it’s time multiplied. Every hour you spend setting clear expectations and helping someone build the right habits from the start saves you dozens of hours of correcting mistakes, clarifying misunderstandings, and managing problems down the road.

Think about all the time you’ve spent dealing with performance issues that could have been prevented with clearer expectations upfront. How many difficult conversations have you had that stemmed from someone not understanding what you really needed? How much rework have you supervised because someone didn’t know your quality standards?

When you provide a structured approach to those first 90 days, you’re essentially front-loading the investment. Yes, it takes time and thought. But that investment pays dividends for the entire duration of that person’s time on your team. They contribute faster, make better decisions independently, and require less corrective feedback because they understood the expectations from day one.

Conclusion

Your new employee is going to form habits and develop assumptions about how to work with you whether you guide that process or not. The only question is whether those habits align with what you actually need from them, or whether you’ll spend the next year trying to reshape behaviors that never should have formed in the first place.

A thoughtful approach to those first 90 days—with clear expectations for what each phase should accomplish—isn’t just good management practice. It’s the difference between someone who’s truly contributing by month four versus someone who’s still figuring out the basics. It’s the foundation that determines whether you build a relationship of trust and mutual success, or one of constant course correction and frustration.

For those paying members of the community, a free tool is available in the Resources section to get you started.

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