I once heard that the definition of conflict was having 2 people live in the same county. Just being that close will bring about some conflict, somewhere.
As managers, conflict is inevitable. It may be conflict between you and a team member, between two team members, or between your team and another team. The opportunities for conflict are endless. The only guarantee is that there will be some type of conflict.
The 7 Steps
Here are some 7 key steps managers can take to navigate workplace conflict effectively:
Acknowledge the Conflict: Don’t ignore the tension. Recognize that there is a problem and address it head-on. The core problem is not only the conflict itself, but the impact it has on engagement and productivity. Managers need to address it from a space of productivity, not trying to blame someone.
Understand the Root Causes: Take the time to understand the underlying issues that are causing the conflict. This often involves active listening and asking probing questions. Sometimes, the root cause will be understood quickly. Other times, it will take lots of probing questions. There are even times where one side doesn’t even realize there was a conflict. I was teaching a high-school English class once. During a parent-teacher conference, one parent asked me why I hate their daughter. I was stunned and said “I don’t hate your daughter. Why would you ask that?” It seems that at some point I had told her and a friend they were disrupting the class and the daughter immediately assumed I hated her and had been telling her parents that for months.
Create a Safe Space for Discussion: Ensure that all parties feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of retribution. This takes some finesse. Make sure the discussion focuses on the issue, not people. People can share how they feel, but not make blanket statements about the other person. I recommend having a list of “rules” that everyone follows to help guide these discussions.
Facilitate Constructive Dialogue: Encourage open communication and guide the conversation to keep it constructive and focused on resolution. Be sure to ask lots of questions intended to not only get to the root cause, but to also get to potential solutions. Of course, depending on the root cause, the solutions may be radically different. If the root cause is a process, it might mean asking for permission to change things. If the root cause is someone feeling unappreciated, all it might take is some communication to show appreciation.
Promote Empathy and Understanding: Help team members to see the situation from the other person’s perspective to foster empathy. This requires a lot of “why” questions. Understand why someone does or feels something. Understand why it has a greater impact than you think. Once you can do that, you move into a different phase of discussion.
Develop a Plan of Action: Work with the involved parties to create a plan that addresses the issues and outlines steps to prevent future conflicts. At this point, and only at this point, can you start to move to “fixing”. Identifying the root cause and finding empathy lets you start to see the options. I love to ask the question: “If I need this, what do you need from me to make that happen?” It not only clarifies what you need, but lets the other party know that you see it as a joint responsibility. Also clarify that the plan of action isn’t set in stone. I like to say the next steps are a test to ensure it works. If not, we can revisit and come up with a better solution. It removes some of the fear of the change becoming permanent.
Follow Up: After the conflict has been addressed, check in with the parties involved to ensure that the resolution is being implemented and is effective. Also follow up on the process used to address the conflict. Ask them how they feel about the solution and how you got to the solution. Did they feel heard? Did they feel like they were part of the solution or simply being told what to do? Always look for ways to do things better, even these conversations.
In an ideal situation, you will be able to go through all these elements in one conversation. There are many times though where it will take several meetings to get through the process. It might even require some backtracking. For example, you may think you’ve identified the root cause, but then as you are trying to brainstorm solutions, you realize that the root cause is something else, requiring you to go back and rethink somethings.
Conclusion
Remember, as a manager, your role is not to take sides but to facilitate a resolution that allows all team members to work together effectively. By following these steps, you can turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and improvement.