Manager Challenges When Building Relationships
This Is a Key Part of Your Job
This data isn’t new - but is important and is scary because we aren’t acting on it:
70% of variance in employee engagement is directly attributable to the manager/employee relationship.
Only 31% of employees are engaged at work.
Lack of engagement is estimated to lead to over $483 billion in lost productivity.
50% of employees report quitting a job specifically because of a manager.
TL;DR - managers are doing a poor job of building solid, trusting relationships with the people on their teams. This is one that can’t be blamed on the organization - this is a choice made by the individual manager. Meaning you.
Here are the biggest obstacles getting in your way - and more importantly, what you can actually do about them.
The System is Working Against You
The Problem: Your company structure makes relationship-building nearly impossible. You're drowning in meetings, buried in paperwork, and pulled in twelve different directions. Most managers spend less than 13% of their time actually developing their people.
What You Can Do:
Block out 30 minutes each week for one-on-ones, even if it's just 15 minutes per person
Use your calendar strategically - treat relationship time like any other important meeting
Push back on non-essential requests that eat into people time (yes, you can do this)
Ask your boss to help prioritize your workload so you can focus on your team
You're Not Actually Listening
The Problem: Three out of four managers don't listen well. You think you're listening, but you're mentally preparing your response or checking your phone.
What You Can Do:
Put away all devices during conversations - seriously, all of them
Ask follow-up questions that show you heard what they said
Repeat back what you understood before offering solutions
Give people time to finish their thoughts, even if there's awkward silence
Take notes - don’t try to remember everything
Trust is Broken Before It Starts
The Problem: There's a massive trust gap. While 86% of executives think they trust their employees, only 60% of employees feel trusted. Your team doesn't feel safe being honest with you.
What You Can Do:
Admit when you don't know something or made a mistake
Share appropriate challenges you're facing - it shows you're human
When someone brings you bad news, thank them first (even if you're internally freaking out)
Stop trying to solve every problem immediately - sometimes people just want to be heard
You're Missing the Recognition Game
The Problem: 63% of employees feel like they don't get enough recognition, and 39% say they don't get enough feedback. You probably think you're giving plenty of both.
What You Can Do:
Notice and call out small wins, not just big achievements
Be specific with praise - "great job" doesn't help anyone improve
Give feedback in the moment, not just during reviews
Ask people how they prefer to be recognized (public vs. private, written vs. verbal)
Make feedback a two-way conversation, not a one-way download
Your Ego is Getting in the Way
The Problem: Nobody wants to admit this, but many managers have blind spots about their own emotional intelligence. You might be more defensive, controlling, or self-centered than you realize.
What You Can Do:
Ask a trusted colleague to give you honest feedback about your management style
Practice saying "I was wrong" or "I don't know" - it gets easier
Stop making every conversation about your perspective
When you feel defensive, pause and ask yourself why
Consider what success looks like for your team member, not just for you
Remote Work is Making Everything Harder
The Problem: Virtual work creates more "static and siloed" relationships. You're missing all those informal interactions that naturally build connections.
What You Can Do:
Start meetings with 5 minutes of actual conversation (not just "how's everyone doing?")
Use video calls for important conversations, even if it feels unnecessary
Create virtual coffee chats or informal check-ins
Be more intentional about reaching out - don't wait for them to come to you
Make extra effort to understand how remote work is affecting each person differently
Conclusion
Building relationships isn't a nice-to-have - it's the core of effective management. The quality of manager-employee relationships directly impacts everything from productivity to retention.
The good news? You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be intentional, authentic, and willing to acknowledge that the people part of your job is actually the most important part. Start with one or two changes from this list, and build from there.
Your team will notice the difference, and so will you.